Nita the Crazy

Aznita Azman is irritating at 11:33 PM

Friday, December 04, 2009

OH-KAY

I just realized that I've been working out so hard for a month for me to just quit. So, I'm gonna keep exercising.

Bottom line, I love food too much.

F**k this shitty diet!

Can you believe I turned down my sister's offer to go eat at Chili's today?! That's a first. I feel like killing the 2 o'clock me now.

I'll start exercising again tomorrow.

Aznita Azman is irritating at 12:02 AM

Thursday, December 03, 2009

DAY ONE

Hungry. Beyond hungry. I wanted to quit halfway, but since I've chugged the salt water, there's really no point. The salt water is the worst part of the cleanse. You have to drink a whole jug of it. It's so bad.

But once I started drinking the lemonade, I felt so much better. Whenever I felt hungry, I'd drink it.

I'm really scared to go out tomorrow. You need a toilet with you at all times, because you always have to "go".

Day two.

Good God, I'm starving! But day one and two are always the worst.

Aznita Azman is irritating at 8:53 PM

MASTER CLEANSE

Hi, everybody. I've been gone for quite awhile. I've been exercising, so far I've lost 3 kg. If you look at me, it's basically no difference.

A few days ago, I hit the plateau, which means that no matter how much I exercise, the scale isn't moving. So to break the plateau, I need another method for the weight to go down.

It's the Master Cleanse!

What's the master cleanse? It's basically nothing but lemon juice with cayenne pepper and maple syrup. I will try it for five days, see what happens. I'll keep a diary here.

How do you do it?

8 cups water (do it all in a jug, easier)
12 tablespoons organic maple syrup
12 tablespoons lemon juice
1/2 teaspoon of cayenne pepper

Mix it all.

Before drinking it, start your day with a jug of water with sea salt.

Oh my God, I sound like a nut case.

Just now, I had a farewell dinner. I had cheese, breads, waffles, sausages, chocolates, every single fattening food you can think of. I thought of throwing up after that, but I farted instead. Oh well.

God, I can't even vomit properly! Bulimics are laughing at me.

Beyonce did this diet for 14 days and she lost 9kg, as told to Oprah. Go on YouTube, type "Master Cleanse" and you can watch all the diaries of people who do the diet.

Start day one, starting tomorrow! Wish me luck.

I need it.

Aznita Azman is irritating at 12:06 AM

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

GIORDANO IN CANNES

Enjoying my Nutella gaufre by the riviera. It was so messy, it got all over me. But it was so good.

Trust me.

Giordano went sightseeing as well. On this own. He's my teddy.

In case you were wondering, yes, I brought him with me today to take pictures. I decided to bring him along for one day for each holiday. He's been with me since 1995, and travelled everywhere with me.

He's my baby!

Oh shut up. I know what you're thinking: Aren't you too old for all of this?

No!

Giordano posing in his Vilebrequin swimming trunk. Apparently he didn't know that it's winter, so all he brought was this.

Aznita Azman is irritating at 2:07 PM

GOING BACK

Oh my God. I love it here. I love it, I love it, I love it.

The people are so incredibly polite and nice. And the country's so beautiful.

One thing that pisses me off is that they always have strikes. Why do you have to do it when I'm around?! All trains were on strike yesterday. Stop being so emo!

I'm not actually going back just yet, but I'm really sad to leave France. I never liked it back then, because I had to go to places that the adults went. I don't like shopping. I had to tag along, and sit down on the boutique sofa until they were done. Nothing bores me more. So now, I went sightseeing a lot and saw many other things that I didn't.

The souvenirs here are lovely. Not like ours. Malaysian souvenirs are so gaudy!

And the best thing of all, this is the capital of chocolates! Oh my God, I went to their chocolate shops. So amazing. Can anybody tell me why I bought dark chocolate? It's so bad. I bought the 86% Madagascar one. All this while I've been eating phony dark chocolate. Where's my milk chocolate when I need it?

I must start learning French again.

I always say that anyway.

Aznita Azman is irritating at 1:55 PM

Monday, October 19, 2009

GOOD MORNING!

Bonjour, everybody. That's all the French I know. No plans today, so I'm just going to walk around, maybe go to the beach and freeze my ass off.

But all I do know is, I'm going to try the Nutella gelato today. Oh my! It's a dream.

The weather here is so nice. I love it. I'm gonna keep walking and walking and walking until I find something interesting.

I feel like renting a bicycle.

I already had two Ferrero Rochers for breakfast. The ones from the flight. I can't resist!

See you all later. Bye bye.

Au revoir!

I got that right--right?

Aznita Azman is irritating at 4:14 PM

GREETINGS FROM THE FRENCH RIVIERA!

I know I haven't updated a lot, I've been quite busy with homework. I feel like I owe something interesting. This post is not that interesting, but at least it's something.

Had blueberry pancakes with banana and hot chocolate while waiting for my transit flight in London. Lingered around the terminal for two hours. Luckily there were interesting shops. And clean toilets. So I played around with the hand dryer in the bathroom. And the makeup section at Boots.

Now I look like a monkey.

Waiting for my morning flight. Arrived at 12.35 p.m. Checked in hotel. I didn't even brush my teeth, we went straight to lunch. I guess my dad was hungry.

So was I.

Did you know Malaysia Airlines gave three Ferrero Rochers each for dinner? That's very generous, thank you very much. I love that chocolate, especially if it's free. I feel too guilty to buy it at the supermarket. It's way too expensive.

I now love dark chocolate. I think. It's healthier. Of course, too much of everything will make you a dinosaur.

Arrived in Cannes this afternoon. It's so beautiful here. The weather is perfect--sunny but cold. Had muscles with cream. Delicious. I finished it all. But of course, like any food with too much cream, after awhile it gets ugh. It was sweet while it lasted.

I'm a binge eater. My sister dipped the cream sauce with fries. Not that I was hungry, but I imitated her. Lo and behold, it was absolutely delicious. C'est delicioux!

God, my French sounds like donkey's ass.

Stomach bloated. Walked around like a fat zombie. Oooh, Nutella crepe. It's so yummy. It was really good. The souvenirs here are so nice, too.

It's incredibly beautiful, isn't it?! I never realized until I uploaded the photos online. It was too sunny just now, I thought the photos would turn out shitty.

The last time I came here was in 2002. I didn't really appreciate this place, because it was gloomy back then. But now--wow. It really is beautiful here.

I'm quite excited to go sightseeing because "To Catch a Thief" was filmed here, and I'm a classic movie fan.

A poster hanging at my cute and tiny hotel. When I say tiny, trust me. It's tiny.

Today is Sunday, all shops are closed. There is a flea market selling all kinds of junk, such as above.

I'm at the hotel now. Going off to dinner. I'm already late. Will post more. Promise!

Can't wait to try the Nutella gelato! I'm a Nutella fan, and this place is like the capital of Nutella.

There's Nutella everywhere!

Okay, now I really have to go. Be back really soon.

It's going to be really cold tonight. Yay! I love cold weather.

Aznita Azman is irritating at 12:48 AM

Saturday, October 17, 2009

HAPPY DEEPAVALI!

I'm flying off tonight, and I haven't packed yet. I'm so lazy to do it. And I always forget my toothbrush.

Can't wait to eat airplane food. I love it.

Vacation time! :) Yay! Before that, if I don't complete my homework, I'm dead. I'm missing two classes next week.

Aznita Azman is irritating at 12:40 PM

Tuesday, October 06, 2009

WORLD'S BIGGEST BURGER

How do you even eat that?! It's way too big.

If you want the best burger in Malaysia, go to Hard Rock Cafe and order HRC Cheeseburger. It's my favourite. It's so good and juicy! Juicy as in, it's dripping out of the burger. Chilli's don't even come close. It's good but not great. It's a little dry sometimes.

Oh, Ramly burger too. I forgot that.

Aznita Azman is irritating at 10:00 PM

Friday, October 02, 2009

WATCH THIS

American interview with Ahmadinejad. He's really outspoken and intelligent, and said the facts right to her face.

"So, who exactly is the terrorist here?". He emphasized on that many times. That'll shut the Americans up. They really have to stop with their air of self-righteousness. It's them who are the terrorist.

Aznita Azman is irritating at 6:39 PM

Sunday, September 20, 2009

WHACKED AUNTIES

Did you know that one of my aunties, who is about 75, sells mercun?

I know, right. How f**ked up is that?! She must've had a rough childhood. I'm just kidding. She doesn't even mind that her children are playing the fireworks with the loudest booms (I'm not surprised. She is 75. How excellent can her ears be?). It was about 1 a.m. and the neighbour was pissed off. You know how in the movies where the neighbour's house is all dark, but the minute something happens, the lights suddenly switch on at the window? Yeah, that.

But if you see her, she looks like the sweetest person around. All innocent. Looks can be deceiving.

At least it's good business.

Do you notice that most of your aunties have really crazy hair the minute they take out their tudung? It's like it got electrocuted or something. Zappp!

Aznita Azman is irritating at 10:45 PM

Thursday, September 17, 2009

SELAMAT HARI RAYA!

Maaf zahir dan batin :)

Gonna balik kampung, along with my Hello Panda tin.

And no, I did not lose any weight during the ramadan as usual, but after Raya, I will start exercising again. Right now I just want to enjoy food.

Every year, there's less and less relatives to visit. I don't know why we bother go visiting. Most of the time we just sit there and stare at the carpet.

Aznita Azman is irritating at 10:20 PM

Monday, September 14, 2009

THIS YEAR'S RAYA VISITING TOPICS

When my family visits someone, sometimes we have no idea what to talk about. Here are this year's ice-braker manual:

- "Buat kuih raya ke beli?"
- "Ada berapa anak?"
- "Oh, dah besar ya anak you" (Um, stating the obvious)
- "Belajar kat mana?"
- "Dah ready dah SPM?"
- "Kad raya dah dapat dah?" "Dah, dah"
- "Dah standard berapa?" (my siblings laugh and think it's a total insult to me)

RAYA #1 CONVERSATION : THE LEG

VENUE: AUNTIE WHATEVER'S HOUSE

My dad
How's your leg? Okay?

Auntie Whatever-I-Don't-Give-A
Okay, okay, Alhamdulilah. Swollen sikit (examines her black-blue leg).

*cricket sound*

My dad
Dah pergi check-up?

Auntie Whatever-I-Don't-Give-A
Dah, dah. Hari tu (name of son) dah hantak. Doktor kata suruh rest.

The whole family nods, even though they don't give a shit.

(super long pause)

My dad
Sini hujan?

Auntie Whatever-I-Don't-Give-A
Hujan, hujan. Sampai banjir (there's an accent for this, can't remember. Maybe "banjiak") hari tu, ayak (Penang for "water") naik tekat ni (points at leg).

My dad
Teruk, ah.

Auntie Whatever-I-Don't-Give-A
Teruk, teruk (shakes head in disappointment)

*Cricket sound*

My mom
Mana cucu auntie semua?

Auntie Whatever-I-Don't-Give-A
Cucu semua keluak pegi Alok Stak (or whatever).

The whole family stares at the television which screens Astro Ria, most probably with Mawi on it. The whole family stares at it for so long as if we are there to watch TV for free.

My Dad
Mawi ni tak habih-habih.

Auntie Whatever-I-Don't-Give-A
Tulah. Depa dok gila kat--

My Dad
(cuts her) Tak pegi KL dah?

Hahaha. That's what's hilarious about my Dad.

Auntie Whatever-I-Don't-Give-A
Hah? Tulah dok pikiak (don't ask me. I am so bad at Penang language, but this means "I'm thinking". Damn funny!)

*six minutes passes*

Auntie Whatever-I-Don't-Give-A
(to her daughter in the kitchen) Bedah (or Minah or whatever), Bedah, dah siap meja doh? (waits for answer). Mai, mai. Jangan malu-malu.

The whole family walks into the dining room, noticing the same drink colour they had last year, most likely orange (F&N brand). Same coasters, too, which says "New Zealand" on it with a bunch of sheeps (based on a true story)

My mom
Buat ke beli kuih?

Auntie Whatever-I-Don't-Give-A
Hah? Buatla. Auntie dah tak larat doh.

(to me) Ni darjah brapak ni?

My mom
Ni Form 5.

I never answer for myself. Can't be bothered.

Auntie I-Don't-Give-A
Camna? Ready?

Nita
Aku relek je.

Kidding. I would just smile.

After eating, salam each other. Duit Raya nowhere to be seen:

Auntie Whatever-I-Don't-Give-A
Eh, lupa. Bedah, ambik duit raya kat laci sat. Lupa plak.

End.

There's a house in Penang which I adore going, because when you sit on the cushion, there'll be air sounds. Pffffffffff. It's awesome, like going to space for a blast off! I anticipate going there every year. Sometimes, in the middle of everything, I would just stand up a little while my aunt's in the kitchen preparing (she's still single if you want her), I will make sure the cushion rises again. Then, 1 2 3, I sit again. BLAST OFF! Pfffffffffffffffffff. Fun!

I was utterly and immensely disappointed when she changed the cushions for the first time in 16 years last year. Whenever we parked our car, someone would mention "lychee" because that's what she always served. But last year, I don't know why we had F&N Strawberry. Maybe she suspected people were making fun of her.

Pffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff. It was serious fun! I've always wanted to ask where she got that.

Off-topic: About the Bedah name, my sister once went to a restaurant and the host had the name "Bianca" on her tag. Then she mentioned that her real name was "Bedah".

This is what I hate about Malay dramas. "Datin Rocky" when it's Rokiah. Ruby when it's Rubiah. Give me a break! It's ambivalent for me. I watch the dramas for humour. Guaranteed to make me laugh. The more serious it is, the better! They rock my world! My brother and I make fun of them all the time.

But I do like some, such as "Kampungku", a Hari Raya telemovie and an old Noorkumalasari movie (is that how you spell her name?) about a boarding school. There's a Sudirman movie called "Kami", but I can't remember if it's good or bad. I watch "The Joy Luck Club" every year as a tradition, because when I was 11 and 12, the movie would be on TV after sahur almost every day.

Some Malay 70's movies are actually not bad. I think. Not all. But some. God knows. But nothing beats "Perempuan, Isteri dan Jalang" (around '93). That is the best one. Whoever says they dislike P.Ramlee movies is a liar. Those are exceptional. Another Noorkumalasari one that I know is a 80's horror movie. I don't know what it's called but I watched it in 2001. Very scary (well, I was eleven. I don't know now).

Astro Kirana has lots of foreign movies. I watched a Chinese film today about a pregnant teen who had to give away her baby. Ten years later, she befriended the child who has a crush on her. It was very good but I slept.

Today on TV3, I watched a Malay series called "Dunia Baru" (this is what happens when you don't know the new channel numbers). I'm always searching for new things to make fun of. This one caught me when a guy said, "Shut up, witch". Woah. Did he say bitch or witch? First time in Malaysian TV history! The Cili Padi actress was very natural. Good actress, but overall the show was not bad. Finally, a show that has an aggressive tudung-wearing woman rather than the stereotypical demure, sweet-looking one. "You don't tell me to shut up. Only my father tells me to shut up!". Guilty pleasure? I think so.

I watched a Malay 70's movie today on Astro. I love watching random movies. I laughed so much. The acting was so wooden and I kept imitating them. They all have the same laugh tone. "Hee hee" "Hee hee". God knows what's so funny. Receiving a telegram was funny. "Hee hee. Hee hee *roams around house like a psycho, then goes back to the kitchen* hee hee".

Notice they all have the same voice? Eerie.

Hee hee. Hee hee.

Anyways--

Nita's dream plan: Bring a tupperware, just in case. If no duit raya, I will scoop all the kuih to even out and bring home.

I can't stress on how often we would just sit there with cricket sounds. The best part is, the pressure's not on me. For an avoidant, that is a dream come true to not even think of something to say. I would just sit on the sofa, shaking my leg. For once, man! Avoidants need a holiday, too. So, those are this year's topic candidates.

That's about it. Now gimme my duit raya.

Kidding. Really, I don't care about the money at all (but I do). All I want is the food. I would go to your house if you serve ketupat with kuah kacang. I'll be a very happy girl. Soto ayam is a plus point, but it's very rare. I will visit your house with a five-hour penalty if you serve that. It is a sacrifice that I have to make for the country and my stomach.

After eating, I'll be the nearest to the door, already wearing my shoe.

Yes, I'm one of those people who are not embarrassed to have a second round. Sometimes, I feel shy. Like I've said before, when adults are busy talking, that's when I scoop. Scoop as much as I can. I like to go unnoticed. It's my stealthy move. I'm very good at that. Too bad CIA doesn't want me. That's their loss.

"My #1 secret", excerpt taken from Dr. Nita Cockroach's "101 Ways To Eat More At Someone's House Without Them Thinking You're a Pig" RM56.70:
I'd say "Nak?" to my siblings when I'm the one who wants it. I'll scoop it on their plates when they don't even want to eat and that's when I put some on mine. Genius move. In a perfect Malay saying, "Pandai cover".

-- Written on October 2007

Aznita Azman is irritating at 10:31 PM

Sunday, September 13, 2009

BABOON

Whenever I feel low, I'll type "baboon" on Google images, and I'd imagine that on a person that I hate. I end up laughing my ass off.

They're so cute. Such fascinating animals. I love them.

Aznita Azman is irritating at 10:11 PM

Saturday, September 12, 2009

PERMISSION TO USE 'PENANG' NAME

What f**king bullshit is that?! It's f**king ridiculous, I'm so angry! Malaysians should be free to use the name Penang as and when they like it. We don't need your f**king permission, okay?!

What else? You need a passport to enter Penang? Well, if you think that sounds ridiculous, to ask permission to use its name is just as stupid.

You are not a f**king brand, okay?! What else, you have to pay every time you use 'Penang'?!

Penang. Penang. Penang. Penang. Penang. There! I'm so angry.

Did you know you have to pay every time you use the 'Happy Birthday' song, the easiest f**king song in the entire universe? Well, at least someone wrote it.

First of all, did you even create the name 'Penang'? It's been around for many f**king years. IT IS NOT YOURS TO CLAIM! Penang does not belong to the state. It is free to the public, and we don't need your permission whatsoever to use it.

Stop with this sense of entitlement bullshit.

I have an idea. Treadmark your ass!

Aznita Azman is irritating at 10:19 PM

Monday, September 07, 2009

RISOTTO!

Made risotto today. I'm so emotional, I want to cry. I've waited so long to eat this. The rice (arborio) took awhile (one day) to find, and when I finally got it, I was over the moon. I've never been so happy finding rice. I'm so proud, it tastes exactly like I wanted it to be. My mom made it but you know, I was there while she made it. It's like being in a hospital when someone's giving birth to a baby. You're there to experience the whole thing.

(pause) It's not the same thing, is it? :P

Now this is the dish I'll make when I wanna eat while watching TV :)

If you want to buy arborio rice, get it at Village Grocer at Bangsar Village, because not all supermarkets have it.

Aznita Azman is irritating at 8:07 PM

Sunday, September 06, 2009

12a.m. SAHUR

Nasi Lemak at Kayu nasi kandar. I'm not very particular about food, I just eat whatever's in front of me. But some people don't like the sambal.

Me? As long as there's chicken, there's a smile on my face :D

Aznita Azman is irritating at 12:09 AM

Thursday, September 03, 2009

BAKING COOKIES

I'm helping my sister make Hershey's Chocolate Chip cookies. Look at my cat! Even he can't wait to eat it!

Too bad he's diabetic. Poor Tom. Full name: Jean Tom Busuq. He's French.

Aznita Azman is irritating at 4:25 PM

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

COKODOK WITH MOHAWK

Aznita Azman is irritating at 9:27 PM

TWITTER

Hello! Add me on twitter. Go to twitter.com/aznitaazman. Go on, add me. I'm very friendly :)

I love twitter. It's like a mini-blog.

Aznita Azman is irritating at 8:42 PM

Friday, August 21, 2009

SELAMAT BERPUASA!

:)

Aznita Azman is irritating at 7:29 PM

Thursday, August 20, 2009

SO CUTE

Aznita Azman is irritating at 7:28 PM

Monday, August 03, 2009

OH DEAR GOD, WHY ARE RAYA MOVIES SO BAD?

I love Raya. I love the atmosphere, the people you surround yourself with (~~and the money you get from people you don't know~~), and so on.

But you know what sucks? The movies they show on TV. Ya Allah. This year, I'd rather shove my head down the toilet bowl than to watch the fourth installment of some shit ass movie. There's one called Takbir Suci. I kid you not, they made four of them. What a nightmare, it's ridiculous. As if ~~half~~ one is not enough.

How do you detect a Raya movie?
a) background music consists of clarinet
b) 70% more termenung scenes compared to an everyday Malay drama
c) the air in the night would be so cloudy
d) dimmed lights at night
e) at least one sick person
f) a kampung house
g) a motor

One time, I counted how long the actor would stare into space. Two minutes. Two f**king minutes. It became an activity, counting how long they would termenung.

Why do they have to portray such pitiful characters? Why can't they make a cheerful Raya movie? Everything is sedih, sedih, sedih. It's so sedih that it makes you laugh. They dumb down the characters so much, it hurts from laughing too much.

I don't even mind if they show Home Alone during Raya. At least it makes you smile, for the right reasons. Ni tak. Raya punya movie, you smile because you're making fun of it. They make the characters so bodoh.

I'll give you an example. In Takbir Suci, the evil stepmother keeps on beating the child. What do the other two kids do?

Just look.

I mean, this is not a one-time situation. It's happening every day. A person with a conscience would say, "This is not right. I must stop this". Oh my dear God, these kids keep going in and out of the house every day. TELL THE F**KING NEIGHBOUR or some shit! Why are you so stupid, oh God?! I can't take it anymore!

Ni tak. Balik rumah, tengok adik kena pukul. Unless they enjoy watching it. ~~I know I would.~~

In Malay dramas, they love making characters either so evil-like or so pitiful. Those two are a must. A must. If you can't detect them, tak sah. They want audiences to pity the victim so bad, that it becomes so stupid, and hence, becomes an instant comedy.

In Malay cinema, if you want to watch a comedy, pick a serious movie. You'll laugh your ass off. And vice versa. If you want to watch a drama, pick comedy. The comedy would most likely embarrass you so much, that it makes you want to cry.

Audiences are much more intelligent than you think.

Christmas movies are all about happiness.

Raya movies are all about watching an old lady getting the shit kicked out of her fifty-one times. Fifty-two if you're lucky. Every scene feels like a deja-vu. "Hey, didn't this happen before?". It's like she's BEGGING to get her ass kicked!

In Malay dramas, police and telephones do not exist. Period. You can have a telephone right next to her for an entire year, and all she knows what to do is to call McDelivery. If you are ever abused on screen, forget about getting help. There ain't any.

Aznita Azman is irritating at 9:02 PM

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Never drive while listening to Smooth Criminal. I kept tapping my foot on the pedal to follow the beat, I almost got into an accident and missed three green lights.

What a great song, especially the last part.

Aznita Azman is irritating at 2:29 PM

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

NICE, HUH?

Why do I feel hungry when I look at this picture?

I'm alright when I look at the hut, but the minute my eyes shift to the water, bam! My stomach grumbles. I'm always hungry when I swim. I don't know why. It's just an automatic reaction.

Well, I guess you and I know it's time to eat. Let's have a fiesta! *goes down to the kitchen*

Ooh, my dad bought Nasi Lemak Antarabangsa.

Dig in, Nita!

Aznita Azman is irritating at 9:20 PM

Sunday, July 26, 2009

YASMIN AHMAD

My sister took me to see Sepet when I was fourteen. I thought to myself, "This Yasmin Ahmad is like a saviour to our film industry". It was like a breath of fresh air in the midst of all our crap local movies (honestly, how many Senarios do you want?). She was so talented. Her stories were simple and yet delivered in a beautiful, touching way. I thought she was our gleam of hope. Every Raya, I looked forward to watch her commercials.

I was so shocked when I heard the news. It's so sad. When I read her blog, somehow or rather you know she's such a nice, warm person. She was always positive, optimistic. She had a different mindset and looked at the bright side of things. I loved the fact that she thanked God for everything. Even the little stuff, she would say 'Alhamdulillah'. Even I don't do that. But after reading her blog, it inspired me to do that too.

I'm going to miss her a lot. Al-Fatihah.

I guess we'll only have Evolusi KL Drift 4, 5, 6 and Sifu & Tongga the sequel from now on.

I just hope not.

Aznita Azman is irritating at 6:04 PM

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Yes, I'm bored and no, still haven't flown yet. Zzzz.

Aznita Azman is irritating at 10:54 AM

Up, up and away!

Aznita Azman is irritating at 10:44 AM

Bye bye! Off to another land!

Aznita Azman is irritating at 9:50 AM

Friday, July 17, 2009

WTF

I thought Jakarta had security checking cars and opening up boots every time you enter hotels. And you'd have to go through screening.

Damn.

I feel really sad. It's not my country, but it's so close to you. And the last time I was there, the people were incredibly friendly. The headlines given out to the world are not a portrayal of what they are. Jakarta is a wonderful city.

And no, I do not love Jakarta only because the DVDs are cheap.

I mean it.

*cricket sound*

The food! Yes, the food, I love the food.

Aznita Azman is irritating at 12:22 PM

Monday, July 13, 2009

IDIOT

So, there's a stupid journalist out there called Siti Jarum (who has zero credibility), and she wrote: "Apalah Sangat Dengan MJ".

Dumbass. If you're gonna be on a national publication, at least use your brain. That is, if you have it.

Aznita Azman is irritating at 1:24 AM

Saturday, July 11, 2009

IMAGINE YOU'RE THE MEAT

This picture scared me to death. Reminds me of sharks.

I'm gonna have nightmares tonight.

But you know what, the more I look at it, the cuter it gets. Try it!

Aznita Azman is irritating at 12:53 AM

Friday, July 10, 2009

CARE FOR SOME PIZZA?

"All mine! MINE! *burps*".

Presenting Domino's most loyal customer, Oleo Mambo. He's nine years old. He used to work for the Mafia but they kicked him out 'cause he got lazy. Now he eats pizza all day every day.

Yes, we love to create biographies for our pets.

Despite the vast space of the table, he just had to sit on the pizza box.

Isn't he adorable?

My dad suggested that Oleo and I should exercise together, since we're getting real fat. Go up and down the staircase, that sort of thing.

Aznita Azman is irritating at 11:43 PM

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

AIRLINE MEALS

I'm browsing airlinemeals.net (I know, I'm weird). I think I have the itch to fly--or maybe I'm just hungry. It's really fun, you get to see what they served in the 50s and 60s.

I love airplane food! Air Asia serves fantastic Nasi Lemak. It's so good, I wanted to order two. But since my sister was seating next to me, stand-bying to slap my face, I couldn't.

Can you believe they served this on economy class?! This was in the 50s.

Look, they even dressed up for flights. I look like an ape every time I board the plane.

Malaysia Airlines' food right now is pretty bad. But don't whine because ours is considered excellent compared to other airlines. On JAL they serve buns (only) on a seven-hour flight.

Aznita Azman is irritating at 8:11 PM

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

CLAIMING TO BE A VAMPIRE

I don't know why, but today something sparked me to type "vampire" on YouTube, then I found this:

I can't believe he got on National Geographic. I thought they were supposed to be credible or something.

So, I googled him. "Don Henrie". Here's what I found on Encyclopedia Dramatica: YOU MUST READ! But watch the video first.

This made my day. I laughed like crazy reading this.

Aznita Azman is irritating at 8:52 PM

Monday, July 06, 2009

TREE-CLIMBING MICHAEL JACKSON

I saw a video of MJ climbing a tree. It was so pure and it touched my heart until I scrolled down to the comments. Michael said to Martin Bashir: "You don't climb trees? You're missing out!"

Commenter: "N*gga, are you crazy?! I got bills to pay!".

That made me laugh so hard. I love YouTube comments. That and iMDB.

Aznita Azman is irritating at 8:57 PM

Friday, June 26, 2009

MY MICHAEL JACKSON ANALYSIS

I did the moonwalk (a bad one at that) in the kitchen and my mom said:

"Dah mati baru nak ikut?".

Well, it's always like that. You don't know what you have until it's gone.

Thriller is now my ringtone! I never realized that song put me in a happy mood.

I remember liking Michael Jackson even before there was Astro, because we accompanied my dad to the TV shop to sign up. They were showing "The Way You Made Me Feel" on the screens and I got excited because I thought there was a channel exclusively showing Michael videos only.

Brings back memories! Man, he had such a huge impact on my childhood. So, with him gone, I feel like there's a missing puzzle to my early life.

Damn, you never appreciate anything when it's alive. I was reading an article just a few days ago about dead celebrities making money even from the grave.

Even if he is alive, it's difficult to make a comeback. He set the bar so high, even for him, it's impossible to compete with the standard he made in the 80s. It's sad that his personal life overshadowed his success as an artist. I lost interest growing up. "You Rock My World" sucked.

I pity him. He is a child trapped in a man's body. I'm like that (not the man part, dumbass). I missed out a lot on my childhood wanting to grow up fast. I believe he has a good heart with good intentions, just misinterpreted by society's idea of normalcy.

BABY DANGLING (is this the right spelling? It looks weird) ANALYSIS.

With the baby dangling incident, it's something a kid would do. And Michael looks at himself as a kid and believes so. And kids do things without thinking, most of the time it takes an adult to point out their wrongdoings without having the responsiblity to think for themselves.

That's Dr. Nita Cockroach's analysis. Don't copy.

(pause)

Coz this is Thrill-ah!

(long pause)

Is it so wrong to be a child?

*burp*

I'm not defending him, but when I was six, my late grandma was in a wheelchair. I pushed her wheelchair thinking that I'm able enough to move her about safely, but the truth is, I'm not. There was a staircase nearby, and I had the confidence that I won't push her down the staircase. I thought that I was capable of keeping her safety. My grandma got scared and called an adult. When the adult took over, I thought, "Don't these people trust me?". Of course, I didn't say that, but you're never too young to feel that way.

Michael was confident that it was safe. He said that he held to the baby tightly, believing that it was alright.

To put things together, he had the mentality of a child, just like I did when I was six. He believed he was a child. He believed that the baby was safe in his hands, just like I thought my grandma was safe in my hands.

Oh dear God, he is a wackjob.

I was SIX! You were FIFTY!

*awkward silence*

Let's just watch his video *munches popcorn*

If you ever want to learn to play Beat It : here's a really easy video. Don't worry, it's not the solo.

Aznita Azman is irritating at 10:06 PM

FREAKY!

Last night before I slept at 2 a.m., I was thinking of Michael Jackson, and whether people would remember him for his music/personality or a child molester.

Boom, this morning, found out he died.

I was five years old when he had a concert here. I still remember after the concert, he waved from his car on the roof top (is that what you call it? Oh dear Lord). After that, my brother and I would repeat his music videos over and over again for about a year.

I listen to "Thriller" all the time in my car. I skip the scary monologue :"The foulest stench is in the air, the funk of forty thousand years..." unless someone is with me. Childhood phobia, I guess. Until today, I can't listen to it. It's scary.

I love Michael Jackson! I'm probably gonna put him on repeat on my iPod today. I repeat "Beat It" A LOT, especially the guitar solo part.

Aznita Azman is irritating at 10:42 AM

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

I LOVE YOU ALL

I love the world!

Yes, I'm bored.

Go to twitter.com/AznitaAzman for updates. Now!

Now!

Am I annoying?

Now!

Aznita Azman is irritating at 5:43 PM

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

THANK THE LORD I DON'T HAVE SCHOOL

Hi, I'm back! I have a jet lag, so I'm up at the weirdest times. Just three years ago, I'd be up at 3 a.m, watch DVDs that I bought and dread that I'll have to shower for school. Just hearing the birds while walking to my car made me sick. Until now, I still hate the bird sounds because it reminds me of bad times.

Life is so much better now. I can't complain. My life is fantastic.

My God, I hated school. I don't miss it. I miss the building, yes, but as far as the academics go, no. Don't confuse education and academics. Those are two completely different things.

I know some of you don't believe in the law of attaction. But you know what, last December, when Britney announced her tour dates, I thought of myself at her concert. Five months later, boom (my vocabulary is astounding)! I mean, what are the odds of me travelling at this time of the year? Anyway, Allah is amazingly generous to me, and bam! There she was.

And also, I wanted to watch this rare Christian Bale movie on YouTube. The DVD is discontinued on Amazon, then bam! Somebody uploaded the movie last week. It's really amazing. I even dreamt of a scene in the movie, and when I watched it, bam! Deja vu. It was a miracle.

I love the Secret. It really changed my life, and it made me appreciate God more, because in the book, it teaches you to be greatful and to thank God for everything. People can be very cynical, but screw them. Of all the things in life, I hate cynicism the most. I've lived with it throughout my school life (especially in Standard 5 and 6). Teachers thought that they could bully me just because I was quiet. They had no right to make certain remarks just because they knew I wouldn't say anything.

So, anyway, The Secret. There are days when I completely forget about it and my day becomes a turmoil. But when I do remember it, I have the best time ever. I love the world.

My brother makes fun of me because I write things like, "Today is such a beautiful day" on Twitter. I'm expressive with words, especially when I write. When you tell me something that excites me, I'll say "Oh My God" a hundred times. I get more excited that the person who's saying those things. I'm not the type to just say, "Oh, that's good *looks around*". I just have genuine excitement. It's inborn. My favourite words are amazing, wonderful, incredible, and any other word that's most likely to be included in a Disney movie.

I like to be expressive. I'm just hyper in real life.

I'm hungry. That's expressive, right?

Aznita Azman is irritating at 6:47 AM

Thursday, May 07, 2009

TV

Yesterday, I went to the TV museum. You can go to their library and watch any TV show you want, from any episode (except for the latest ones, of course). It's so fun, basically a dream for me. You know how much I love TV.

I have absolutely no idea what to do today. Any suggestions?

A few days ago, I went to Barnes & Noble in the morning (did I post about this already?), and the security lady came up to me and said:

"Are you in scone?"
"What?"
"Are you in scone?"

Did I order a scone? What? I had no idea what to say, so I just said, "No".

"College?"

Oh! School! What scone scone, pronounce it properly! God! "Yea".

Then, she said to her headset, "Negative".

Man, it sucks for the school children here. Can't even go to the bookstore without getting hounded by the security.

On the other hand, I was secretly thrilled that she thought I was in school.

I was watching Margaret Cho on an interview and she said she's a little child-like compared to people her age because she missed out on embracing childhood. Me, too. That's why I'm like this.

It's a great day, I shouldn't be on the computer.

Aznita Azman is irritating at 8:50 PM

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

WHAT I DID TODAY

My God, it was so windy today. My umbrella's head (yeah, I don't know what word to use) turned upside down. First time ever in my life.

Anyway, went to the Museum of Natural History (yes, the one in Night in the Museum or whatever it's called). It was very interesting. Thank God I left school. Otherwise, it's a complete torture to visit there. It's like a walk-in textbook.

New York is rainy and windy. And cold. But I like it. Except for the rain.

Aznita Azman is irritating at 12:16 PM

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

ALSO!

Saw Kate Hudson, Liv Tyler, Helena Christensen, Eva Mendes, Jessica Alba (okay, I'm lying, I didn't see her), Iman, and Chanel Iman.

Crazy awesome.